管理類聯(lián)考考研英語(yǔ)二外刊選讀（12）

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The Science Behind Happy Relationships

題材：科普類

出處：Time Magazine 《時(shí)代雜志》

字?jǐn)?shù)：863 words

[1] When it comes to relationships, most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love, but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

【當(dāng)涉及到關(guān)系時(shí)，我們大多數(shù)人都是隨遇而安。處在戀愛(ài)早期的我們非常興奮，但當(dāng)我們接觸到日常生活中的瑣碎事情后，個(gè)人感情包袱開(kāi)始產(chǎn)生，我們會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在面對(duì)感情傷害、情感退縮、沖突升級(jí)、應(yīng)對(duì)技巧不足和純粹的無(wú)聊時(shí)陷入困境。不可否認(rèn)的是：建立和保持快樂(lè)、健康的關(guān)系是困難的?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

wing it 臨時(shí)應(yīng)付

exhilarate /?ɡ?z?l?re?t/ v. 使高興;使興奮

grind /ɡra?nd/ n. 苦差事 v. 磨碎;碾碎

creep /kri?p/ v. 悄悄地緩慢前進(jìn) n. 討厭鬼

flounder /?fla?nd?(r)/ v. 陷入困境

withdrawal /w?e?dr???l/ n. 撤走;撤回

escalate /?esk?le?t/ v. (使)逐步擴(kuò)大;惡化

[2] But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

【但是，越來(lái)越多的關(guān)系研究領(lǐng)域正在為最健康、最幸福的夫婦之間的習(xí)慣提供基于科學(xué)的指導(dǎo)，以及如何使所有掙扎的關(guān)系變得更好。正如我們所了解到的，愛(ài)情和關(guān)系的科學(xué)可以歸結(jié)為既簡(jiǎn)單、明顯又難以掌握的基本經(jīng)驗(yàn)：同理心、積極性和強(qiáng)烈的情感聯(lián)系促使形成最幸福和最健康的關(guān)系。】

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

boil sth. down (to sth.) 概括，歸納

simultaneously /?s?m(?)l?te?ni?sli/ adv. 同時(shí)地

empathy /?emp?θi/ n. 同感，共鳴

[3] “The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.

【渥太華的臨床心理學(xué)家、多本書(shū)其中包括《抱緊我：愛(ài)一生的7種對(duì)話》的作者蘇·約翰遜道：“我們學(xué)到的最重要的東西，也是在過(guò)去35年所有發(fā)展心理學(xué)、社會(huì)心理學(xué)和我們實(shí)驗(yàn)室工作中非常顯眼的東西是：親密關(guān)系以及長(zhǎng)期維系這些關(guān)系，使其充滿活力，以及一次又一次地墜入愛(ài)河的秘密是情感回應(yīng)”?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

stand out 顯眼;突出

responsiveness /r??sp?ns?vn?s/ n. 反應(yīng)

[4] That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The 99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

【這種回應(yīng)，簡(jiǎn)而言之，就是發(fā)送一個(gè)提示并讓對(duì)方做出回應(yīng)。約翰遜說(shuō)：“愛(ài)情中9900萬(wàn)個(gè)問(wèn)題是，‘你會(huì)在我身邊嗎?’”“這不僅僅是說(shuō)‘你是我的朋友，你會(huì)幫我做家務(wù)嗎?’這是關(guān)于情感上的同步和體諒”?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

in a nutshell 簡(jiǎn)而言之

chore /t???(r)/ n. 日常事務(wù);例行工作

synchronicity /?s??kr??n?s?ti/ n. 同步性;同時(shí)發(fā)生

tune /tju?n/ v. 調(diào)音;調(diào)整

tune in to sb/sth 理解，體諒(他人的思想感情等)

[5] “Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

【 “每對(duì)夫婦都有差異”, 約翰遜繼續(xù)說(shuō)：“使夫妻不快樂(lè)的原因是，當(dāng)他們有了情感上的裂痕，他們無(wú)法在對(duì)方身上獲得安全感?！?她認(rèn)為批評(píng)和拒絕——通常會(huì)遇到抵抗和回避——是極其痛苦的，也是被我們大腦認(rèn)定為危險(xiǎn)的東西?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

haven/?he?vn/ n. 保護(hù)區(qū);避難所

defensiveness /d??fens?vn?s/ n. 防御

distressing /d??stres??/ adj. 使人痛苦的

[6] To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy, in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

【為了促進(jìn)伴侶之間的情感回應(yīng)，約翰遜開(kāi)創(chuàng)了情感聚焦療法。在這種療法中，夫妻通過(guò)交流來(lái)表達(dá)需求、規(guī)避指責(zé)。約翰遜說(shuō)：“夫妻必須學(xué)會(huì)以能夠拉近對(duì)方的方式來(lái)談?wù)摳星椤?。?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

pioneer /?pa???n??(r)/

[7] Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

【保持積極

致力于婚姻研究的組織戈特曼研究所的研究主任卡莉·科爾認(rèn)為，當(dāng)夫妻雙方都不做積極處理時(shí)，無(wú)論何種關(guān)系，都容易導(dǎo)致情感出現(xiàn)問(wèn)題。“當(dāng)出現(xiàn)這種情況時(shí)，人們會(huì)覺(jué)得彼此漸行漸遠(yuǎn)，直到他們甚至不再了解對(duì)方，”科爾說(shuō)。這種對(duì)積極性的關(guān)注是戈特曼研究所提倡 “勿以事小而不為”這一格言的原因。自20世紀(jì)70年代以來(lái)，戈特曼實(shí)驗(yàn)室一直在研究關(guān)系滿意度，這項(xiàng)研究促使該研究所的心理學(xué)家鼓勵(lì)夫妻雙方進(jìn)行能表達(dá)各自欣賞之情的日常交流?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

disengagement /?d?s?n?ɡe?d?m?nt/ n. (從活動(dòng)、組織或爭(zhēng)端中的)脫離

motto /?m?t??/ n. 格言

[8] One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole—whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

【科爾說(shuō)，找到每天贊美伴侶的方法是一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的開(kāi)始——無(wú)論是表達(dá)你對(duì)他們所做的事情的贊賞，還是具體告訴他們你喜歡他們什么。這種做法有兩個(gè)好處：首先，它肯定了你的伴侶，幫助他們獲得良好的自我感覺(jué)。其次，它有助于提醒你為什么你開(kāi)始選擇了這個(gè)人?！?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

compliment /?k?mpl?ment/ v. 贊美

validate /?v?l?de?t/ v. 證實(shí);確認(rèn)

[9] Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

【不僅僅傾聽(tīng)內(nèi)心，也要遵從大腦

談到大腦和愛(ài)情，生物人類學(xué)家和金賽研究所高級(jí)研究員海倫·費(fèi)舍爾在對(duì)人類大腦進(jìn)行掃描后發(fā)現(xiàn)，對(duì)關(guān)系表示滿意的人身上發(fā)現(xiàn)了三種基本的神經(jīng)化學(xué)成分：擁有同理心、控制自己的感情和壓力以及保持對(duì)伴侶的積極看法。】

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

anthropologist /??nθr??p?l?d??st/ n. 人類學(xué)家

scanner /?sk?n?(r)/ n. 掃描儀

component /k?m?p??n?nt/ n. 組成部分

[10] In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

【在幸福的關(guān)系中，伴侶試圖與對(duì)方共情，理解對(duì)方的觀點(diǎn)，而不是不斷地試圖做對(duì)。控制你的壓力和情緒可以歸結(jié)為一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的概念：“閉上你的嘴，不要表露出來(lái)，”費(fèi)舍爾說(shuō)。如果你無(wú)法控制自己的情緒，那就去健身房休息一下，讀一本書(shū)，和狗狗玩耍，或者打電話給朋友——做任何可以避免破壞性的事情。對(duì)你的伴侶保持積極的看法，費(fèi)舍爾稱之為“積極的幻想”，是為了減少你花在感情消極方面的時(shí)間。“沒(méi)有完美的伴侶，而大腦天生就會(huì)記住對(duì)方說(shuō)過(guò)的壞話，”費(fèi)舍爾說(shuō)?！暗绻隳芎雎赃@些事情，只關(guān)注重要的事情，這對(duì)身體、精神和關(guān)系都有好處?！薄?/p>

【重點(diǎn)詞匯】

empathize /?emp?θa?z/ v. 有同感;產(chǎn)生共鳴

gym/d??m/ n. 健身房;體育館

dwell on sth. 老是想著，嘮叨

nasty/?nɑ?sti/ adj. 極差的;令人厭惡的

[11] Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

【更快樂(lè)的關(guān)系，更快樂(lè)的生活

歸根結(jié)底，一個(gè)人的關(guān)系質(zhì)量決定了他們的生活質(zhì)量。“良好的關(guān)系不僅僅讓人更快樂(lè)和更美好，”約翰遜說(shuō)：“當(dāng)我們知道如何愈合[關(guān)系]并且維系它們時(shí)，它們能使我們更適應(yīng)(這些關(guān)系)。所有這些關(guān)于愛(ài)如何使我們更強(qiáng)大的陳詞濫調(diào)并不只是陳詞濫調(diào);它是生理機(jī)能。與喜愛(ài)和重視我們的人的聯(lián)系是我們生活中唯一的安全網(wǎng)”。】

【重點(diǎn)單詞】

dictate /d?k?te?t/ v. 口述;支配

resilient /r??z?li?nt/ adj. 有彈性的;復(fù)原的

physiology /?f?zi??l?d?i/ n. 生理學(xué)

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